


Zoinks! It's Halloween Hijinks

by yolky_the_egg_yokai



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Halloween
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-10 17:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20855804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yolky_the_egg_yokai/pseuds/yolky_the_egg_yokai
Summary: Spike doesn’t leave for L.A. after Harsh Light of Day. He sticks around and gets just as trapped as everyone else inside the Scary House during Fear, Itself. There, Buffy and Spike are separated from everyone and forced to team up to survive all the horror tropes coming to life by a demon that’s seen one too many movies. At least Spike seems to rival Xander in the movie dork department?Written for the Big Bads Challenge 2019 on EF. Rating will most likely go up.





	Zoinks! It's Halloween Hijinks

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to OffYourBird for reminding me of Parker's last name. I was way off.

Buffy still had an unmistakable fondness for Halloween and it genuinely surprised her each and every year the holiday creeped up on her. Get it? Creeped? Okay, probably better that one was only inside her head. Well, she couldn’t really do horror movies anymore. It felt too much like a morbid look into the last moments of everyone she hadn’t been able to save. No biggie. Buffy just stuck to watching classics like  _ It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown _ and  _ Hocus Pocus _ instead. Then there was the candy and the cool touch of Fall (albeit a California Fall) which meant shopping for cute new boots and sweaters while finally being able to enjoy her mom’s hot cocoa again. And Halloween night itself was full of wholesome hijinks.

Yeah, Buffy still had a soft spot for Halloween. Which meant a college party in a haunted house should have been construed as something resembling fun. Instead Buffy was trying to reign in her pissiness at being a third - no, fifth wheel to this shindig followed her absolute humiliation on campus a few weeks ago - in front of stupid Spike.  _ God, I hate him and his nasty talky mouth! _

“Um… Buffy?” Xander began hesitantly.

“Yeah?” she asked, not really paying him any attention. Buffy’s mind was too busy replaying her fight with Spike on campus on a never ending loop.

Buffy heard Xander clear his throat from somewhere behind her. She frowned and stopped too. Xander, Willow, and Oz were all looking at her like she had grown a second head. Xander’s dark eyes were filled with amusement as they flicked meaningful at Mr. Pointy. The stake had somehow found it’s way from her basket to her hand. “Do you and Mr. Pointy need some alone time? ‘Cuz I gotta tell you that the stroking? Getting pretty NC-17 over there and there are children about.”

“Oh.” Buffy slipped the stake back into her basket, feeling her cheeks burn. “Sorry.”

Xander brows rose in confusion. “I thought you said the weapons were just in case?”

“I was just… thinking,” Buffy said, picking at invisible lint on her skirt.

“Oh, about Parker? ‘Cuz he’s a major poop-head but I think staking him might be a bit much,” Willow admitted.

“Yeah, an axe murder would much more Halloween appropriate,” Oz teased making Willow flush.  _ Oh, good. Willow and Oz are having private, couple-y convos about me getting dumped on my butt. Again. _

Buffy wrinkled her nose at the mention of Parker. Willow mouthed an apology that Buffy waved off. The taboo of mentioning said poop-head by name was newly instated after all. “No, actually. I was just thinking about Spike is all.”

“You were stroking wood like that thinking about Spike? Consider me officially spooked,” Xander said with a laugh as he started walking in the direction of the frat house again.

“Xander!” Buffy squealed and covered her poor, innocent ears even as she kept pace with him. Too bad the insidious image had already infected her poor Buffy brain. Buffy shot a glare at Xander who was so busy trying to look innocent that he stumbled and nearly fell. Buffy bit back a grin and tried not to focus on the relief in Xander’s face at her almost smile.

“Why are you so worried about Spike? You got the Gem of Amara off of him, didn’t you?” Oz asked, face too contemplative. It was a standard Oz trait but Buffy didn’t want him to think about this too hard. Sometimes she felt like Oz could read people as if they were just words on a page if he just put in the teeniest effort.

“It’s just… there’s been no word about his whereabouts since. I only got word that Harmony might’ve skedaddled off to L.A.”

“So?” Xander laughed. “Harmony is, well, Harmony. Even when she’s a blood-sucking fiend. I doubt she’ll be able to find it out there. The girl couldn’t find a way to get a rock out of her shoe even if someone told her the instructions were on the sole. And even if Spike does come back wearing the ring, you’ll just kick his ass again. Even with an invincibility ring, the idiot couldn’t beat you.”

Buffy forced a smile and a nod at Xander. “You’re right. Thanks, Xander.”

_ Except… he could’ve beaten me. I was totally beatable then. The pig had decided to rile me up instead. _ The Scoobies seemed to be of the consensus that Buffy had been heartbroken over Parker. And yeah, it had majorly hurt what happened with Parker but it wasn’t what was keeping her preoccupied the last few weeks. Spike was. The idiot. He had had her. He totally had her! Buffy had been unprepared and unfocused and Spike had been nearly invincible and he’d decided the thing to do was to rile her up? 

“I’d rather be fightin’ you anyway,” he had told her once.

Was it all because she hadn’t performed to his expectations of their final battle? God, if that wasn’t just so much more humiliating than the Parker fiasco topped with the cherry that was the Sunday incident. Buffy just needed to find Spike and kick his ass so she could prove to him that she was a Slayer who still had it, that’s all. Maybe kiss off the end of their hostile relationship with a dusting. Easier than dealing with why all her personal relationships ended in abandonment.  _ Hopefully he’s still in town. Hopefully he still thinks I’m a Slayer worth fighting at all. _

“Buffy!”

“Huh?”

  
“We’re here, Buffy.”

“Oh.” Buffy turned around and walked back to join her sort of weirded out friends standing at the pathway to the fraternity. It was then that the Scoobies determinedly set forward and entered the Scary House.

***

_ This is all your bloody fault, Summers! _ Spike thought moodily as he stalked some git named Parker bloody Abrams. On fuckin’ Halloween. Stupid kiddies shrieking from all the sugar and being annoyingly underfoot. 

Spike snarled at the stray anklebiter who dared to come too close, brushing the edges of his duster. The boy shrieked and tried to bolt but Spike’s hand darted out to grip the thin plastic strap of the equally plastic orange pail he carried. The gulp the little bugger made was audible. Ironically, when the kid turned back to give Spike a teary and hate-filled look, he saw he was dressed as a vampire. His red-painted bottom lip wibbled. Bemused, Spike let his demon out and curled his tongue around a fang hard enough for a bead of blood to drip from his mouth. Dark, watery eyes bulged in terror as they flicked between Spike and the pail full of treats. Spike jiggled the pail and cocked an eyebrow in a clear threat.  _ Treats or your neck, little boy? _ The boy, though with obvious regret, chose to abandon his goods.

With a pleased grumble, Spike clutched the pail to his stomach -  _ Oh, bugger me! You just had to be happy lil’ jack o’ lantern shaped, didn’t you? _ \- and dug through it. This was fine. Parker bloody Abrams was still in sight and Spike was still the Big Bad even carrying an obscenely happy plastic pumpkin.

_ Now, where was I? Oh, yes, the Slayer. God, how I hate her and her pink, pouty mouth!  _ Spike dug out a Reese’s Cup as he kept a baleful eye on Parker bloody Abrams walking half a block ahead of him.  _ And her horrible taste in blokes. This one wears too much cologne. _ He tore the wrappings off with his teeth and shoved the sweet into his gob whole, chewing angrily. The Slayer hadn’t been herself the past few weeks. Not a wit. The bitch didn’t even seem to have a lick of fun during her patrols anymore! No playing with her prey or kickin’ them clear across the cemetery for the hell of it. No snappy little comebacks or pithy one-liners even. And Spike knew all this because he had been following her around Sunnyhell like some stray dog since their last tousle.

Too tormented by her thoughts of Parker bloody Abrams to notice him, the Slayer of Slayers, following her for a fortnight? Little idiot was bound to get herself killed by some nasty other than hisself! And all over that git? Fuckin’ offensive was what it was. Her being too distracted to fight him all proper like. It wouldn’t bloody well do! Not every soddin’ demon that she fought was going to stoke her flames like he had done.

_ Doubt they could rile her up like I can any which way _ , Spike thought with a sniff of pride as he pictured her all flushed and glistening with flashing eyes. He tongued the center of another Reese’s Cup laviously.

Now, Spike was forced to do something about all this. That something being killing Parker bloody Abrams. It was what he had wanted to do since day one. Only reason he hadn’t done it to begin with was the ever so slight concern that the Slayer might be in love with the tosser. If she was in love with the git then snapping his neck and leaving him naked and prickless on her little dorm room bed wasn’t going to help matters. He didn’t think she was love this Parker bloody Abrams though. The Slayer didn’t moon over the git like she had done over Captain Forehead and yet she was still so down about him. It was maddening.

_ Maybe I’ll even add a cute little ribbon to his dick while I’m at it, _ Spike mused as he popped the rest of the sweet into his mouth and chewed slowly. He watched as the git entered a frat house. When Spike got closer, he picked up on the sounds of a party going on upstairs. 

A small part of Spike suspected the Slayer wouldn’t care for his downright magnanimous gift but surely she would still feel better if he were gone? Then at least she wouldn’t have to worry one way or another if he didn’t call her back after what should’ve been the best shag of his life. Git was clearly soft in the head if he couldn’t see that Buffy Summers was a helluva woman. Really, Spike was doing the human species a favor in removing Parker bloody Abrams from the gene pool. Fyarls were smarter than him.

Only before Spike could follow his prey into the house and enact his plans, he smelt the Slayer’s scent in the air. Ducking into some shrubbery, he watched as her and little friends approached the same house the git had disappeared into. Playing the part of Little Red Riding Hood in a cute little skirt, Buffy had been talked into going to a party it seemed.  _ Little tease. Bet she has some cute little toys hiding in that basket, too. _ Spike’s blood sang in anticipation, his demon humming and thrumming inside from the very moment her scent had entered his nose. 

Or his demon had been pleased until Spike watched as the Slayer tither past the fuckin’ house! He growled low in his throat.  _ Too tormented by her own thoughts to find a damn house party? See? That’s exactly why I’ve been having to follow you around the past few weeks, you stupid bint! _ Spike dug out a Snickers bar -  _ Just what’s supposed to be so fun about fun-sized anyways? _ \- and ate as he watched the soddin’ Scoobies enter the house. He stayed squatting in the shrubbery for a few minutes, pondering on what to do now that they had showed up and bollixed up his plans for the night. Only, then he heard something interesting. Cocking his head, Spike listened in on the party upstairs. The screams had most certainly changed from before. There was genuine terror in those voices now. Oh, and was that an entire window that had disappeared into the nothing but brick and mortar?  _ Well, wasn’t that neat? Guess I’m not the only nasty out on Halloween. _

Only -  _ Fuckin’ hell! _ \- it wasn’t neat. The Slayer wasn’t on her game. Clearly. Spike rolled his eyes heavenward. Bugger. He was going to go in to back her up, wasn’t he?  _ Ah, well, _ he thought with a very put upon sigh as he stood and strode up to the door, candy pail rattling. Guess the Big Bad was just going to have see what made Little Red Riding Hood squeal.

**Author's Note:**

> All righty! So, this whole story was supposed be completely written by now but I haven't even finished my second chapter. Between my birthday, a physically demanding job, and an injury; real life just got in the way. I've rewritten this first chapter twice and my second chapter will be getting its third rewrite here soon, so all hope for completing this by Halloween is pretty much nil.
> 
> That all being said, I'm super excited to share this with all of you and I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it! OffYourBird echoed my heart so perfectly when she wrote me, "Two dashes drama, a slice of horror, and garnished with camp. Whatcha think?"


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